One life one chance to live
but what if something happened?
For instance the same thing that
happened to her. Oh it was tragic
she was so young. But everyone says
it was just an accident. All the people
say that they are sorry. But do they
mean it. Could you live with that?
For the rest of your life, It's hard
wanting to die every second of every
day, because you think no one cares.
You can't trust anyone because you
think they are all the same. Its sad, that
she hasn't moved on by now but she
just can't seem to let it go.
Her life was filled with so many things.
Some good, some bad.
But her thoughts, they were filled with hatred disgust, dissatisfaction.
She had depressed feelings, numbness and suppression.
She couldn't stand to thing about it.
That one thing she hid for all those years.
The thing she was ashamed of.
That one thing that would take over her life
If she wasn't careful, it would eat her alive.
She tried to block it out for so long.
That some parts she couldn't even remember.
She barely could even remember the event
But she knew how she felt about it, guilty.
At this point her life was consumed by guilty
and depressed feelings, and suicidal thought.
When it all ends
She wakes up every morning
Thoughts storm her mind
Thoughts of all kinds
Some good some bad
She keeps them to herself
It's better that way
They don't need to know
They'll just judge her
It's just one more strike against her
They wouldn't understand anyway
How could tehy it's too complex
She tries to go about her day
As normal as possible
But it's hard, it hurts
Her favorite time is night
Because night is when it all ends.
(Written December 2006)
This next poem is basically the first poem I ever wrote back in 2005-2006, its extremely dark and depressing atleast I think, again it's not amazing but its special to me because it is what got me started with writing.
A Dark Insight
Her life darkened by hatred
Was it planned?
Or was it just an accident?
So many feelings
So much pain and hurt
Guilt and mixed emotions filled her mind
The thoughts wouldn't stop
It was like they were attacking her
Saying things like your better off dead
Kill yourself, kiill something, anything
Guilt ridden and driven by hate
She loaded and cocked the gun
Put it to her head, and her body fell to the floor