Friday, November 12, 2010

Stronger (interlude)

These scars that I have you put them there.
The emptiness inside you created.
My hollow heart you carved.
The Blankness in my eyes yo taught.
You thought you wouldn't get caught.
But you did... and I want to thank you.
I've walked a cold-long road since and every inch
of every mile has not made me smile
but it's been worth while..
My eyes are not closed, I do not flinch.
I embrace everythig that comes my way.
I've learned compassion, mercy, and truth.
And I owe it all to you.
I wouldn't be the person I am today
without my past, you gave me strength
and now I'm stronger.

Randomly Written

Dancing..... Screaming all inside my head.
These four walls are trapping me in.
Dancing, twirling, spinning all around.
Screaming, screeching can't seem to find the ground.

Untittled

9/8/10
Your my enemy
you've got a hold on me
and I can't shake you off...NO!
But Baby (Let's Reverse)

You make all these dumb moves
maybe you should get a clue
because.....

I'm changing my ways
its a brand new me
sick and tired of all the lies
sick and tired of your alibis
you think you can just pass by
but baby I see right through your eyes

It's not that hard to figure out
just what you're all about
You act all shy, talk real smooth
say thie right things, have the right moves

But your apparent personality
doesn't make your identity

that comes from something more.....
like everything that you wore
maybe I should call your whore
could it be the girl next door
you should tell her to watch her back
because...

I'm stepping on up it's a brand new day
I"m watching her moves
I'm watching her lies
I just can't seem
to let her pass by
Maybe I'll get her a sweet surprise

Saturday, May 29, 2010

According to most, humans have freewill Right? That everyone is responsible for thier own choices and actions. Most assume if you do a wrong you knew it was wrong when you did it, However others will argue another point; perhaps mental illness. But it seems to me almost everyone in serious trouble seems to claim mental illness. But what if there was a third point of view. Some people say that notorious antagonists such as Hitler and Stalin suffered from a mental illness. But don't you think that's only defendng them. The third point of view I want to introduce to you is the power and control of people driven by the human mind. The mind has certain powers of its own. The human mind can fool, trick, decieve, mislead, and even hurt. People sit around and worry about wars and such but what they don't see is what should worry them. The most useful tool humans have is also the most dangerous force that can be used against them, this is the human mind.

(* just a side note I'm not defending Hitler or Stalin in this, both of them I dislike very much for what they did. All I'm trying to prove here is that the mind is unlimited with knowledge and that not everything is a mental illness some people are just evil.*)

This was written about two years ago just something I felt like writing one day. I think eventually I might expand on because to me it doesn't seem near completion it seems to be lacking some criteria. So when I get a moment I will edit it.

Blast from the Past

So here are some older poems I think I wrote these about 2-3 years ago not exactlys sure on the dates, they are all some of my beginning works so don't expect too much.....
Could You
One life one chance to live
but what if something happened?
For instance the same thing that
happened to her. Oh it was tragic
she was so young. But everyone says
it was just an accident. All the people
say that they are sorry. But do they
mean it. Could you live with that?
For the rest of your life, It's hard
wanting to die every second of every
day, because you think no one cares.
You can't trust anyone because you
think they are all the same. Its sad, that
she hasn't moved on by now but she
just can't seem to let it go.



Her Life
Her life was filled with so many things.
Some good, some bad.
But her thoughts, they were filled with hatred disgust, dissatisfaction.
She had depressed feelings, numbness and suppression.
She couldn't stand to thing about it.
That one thing she hid for all those years.
The thing she was ashamed of.
That one thing that would take over her life
If she wasn't careful, it would eat her alive.
She tried to block it out for so long.
That some parts she couldn't even remember.
She barely could even remember the event
But she knew how she felt about it, guilty.
At this point her life was consumed by guilty
and depressed feelings, and suicidal thought.



When it all ends
She wakes up every morning
Thoughts storm her mind
Thoughts of all kinds
Some good some bad
She keeps them to herself
It's better that way
They don't need to know
They'll just judge her
It's just one more strike against her
They wouldn't understand anyway
How could tehy it's too complex
She tries to go about her day
As normal as possible
But it's hard, it hurts
Her favorite time is night
Because night is when it all ends.
(Written December 2006)

This next poem is basically the first poem I ever wrote back in 2005-2006, its extremely dark and depressing atleast I think, again it's not amazing but its special to me because it is what got me started with writing.

A Dark Insight
A girl
Her life darkened by hatred
An incident
Was it planned?
Or was it just an accident?
So many feelings
So much pain and hurt
Guilt and mixed emotions filled her mind
The thoughts wouldn't stop
It was like they were attacking her
Saying things like your better off dead
Kill yourself, kiill something, anything
Guilt ridden and driven by hate
She loaded and cocked the gun
Put it to her head, and her body fell to the floor
Blood everywhere.

Current of Life

So this is an older poem I wrote in Februaray of 2009.
Here it is:

People grow age by age
Rivers flow day by day
No matter what, you can't stop fate
The future, will never wait
Even if you fall behind
Just remember, use your mind
Times will be easy
Times will be rough
But in the end you'll find your tough
Everything has a meaning
Even if it seems demeaning
Just stay strong
Admit your wrongs
And keep on moving in the
Current of life.

So its not the greatest but not the worst let me know what you think.....

Friday, April 9, 2010

Random

Out of a dream off of the distant shore you appeared to me
Like a cloud, lifted high above all the skies
you pulled me out of the depths of darkness
and into the shining bright lights
heading towards a new beginning
in a direction I don't recognize
But its all so sweet, bitter sweet
Staring into the moonlinght
I can't fight anymore
Time is not on my side, and decpetion is full swing across... to be continued

Monday, March 29, 2010

picture





So I found this picture on the interenet, and i absolutely fell in love with it. The coloring and design are all so gorgeous, just thought I would add it for y'all to see!!! ENJOY! =]

Work in Progress (for my beautiful niece Gabby)

Young child your growing up
getting older and getting tough
Your growing wiser and being stronger
Worries of the past are no longer
Childish thoughts and whispers linger
though their steam doesn't sting and
the useless cries and tiredless tries
they wear you on and on, dragging your feet
stumbling down in a fastpaced spiral.
Seems no where is out, but dont doubt.
you will be okay, it seems hard right now
but when you grow older yet, it's not a bet
all the childish things and stings won't
bother you, cuz when you are older you will realize,
that everything that has happened is for a reason.
and one day maybe just someday soon you will realize
this, and stare down on those who oppresed.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Challenge

Due to stress from school work I have developed a challenge for myself starting now until the end of the semester! I'm going to write a little bit everyday either by writing a new poem or short story or by doing some work on my novel, I will keep you posted!!

on the outside looking in

Your lies, your made up alibis, they make me sick, what the frick?
Do you honestly think the truth won't come out?
You only care about yourself,
taking lives and making ties.
In this moment your the one who everyone wants to know.
But I can guess what you'll do
when your flame starts to flicker,
you'll wicker away into the past
just a remembrance of who you weren't.
And once they all forget the withered candle
you'll be searching for that light.
But the only thing you'll have left are the memories of what could have been,
then you'll see at last the foul judgement of your mind.
I wish I could you it will all be okay,
but honest enough I'm waiting for the day
when you get hit by that train,
then it will drain everyone who you were.
I hope that day will be soon,
May you then not mess up,
Like you did in your youth.
I think eventually you will be okay,
and I would like to know you on that day.
In this time your so obsessed
with personal benefit it is such a crime
eventually you will see what I mean.
The only advice I can give you now
is your time is coming,
then we will see how you fair
on the outside looking in.

Black Rose

He swifts through the night
as swiftly as a deer
His targets in sight
It could be a long night
He waits for his prey
To go lay asleep
He pulls out a ring
With nothing but a swing
He slides the key in
With just a short click
And a flick of the wrist
The door opens as
Wide as can be
He slides through the door way
And glides on in
Being quiet as a mouse
Not even a creak
Floating up the steps
Fire in his eyes
his heart beating fast
Ready to unleash the blast
Memories from the past
Just seem to last
He creeps through
The hall as he
Stalks the waall
Targets in sight
Oh, such a fright
Tonight has got
Such a bight
He sneaks on in
Leans close to his prey
In one quick second
Like a lightning flash
The task is done
He places a black rose
Next to his prey
Where it will lay
For time until
It is found
the next day.

.....

I sit in solitude
starring into the multitude
of those who gave the
attitude, It's hard to
believe that they
could stay away
From the crowds they'd
rather sit in the towns
that have a hollowed past
and empty memories full
of blankness and sorrow.

Current of Life

People grow age by age
Rivers flow day by day
No matter what, you can't stop fate
The future will never wait
Even if you fall behind
Just remember use your mind
Times will be easy
Times will be rough
But in the end you will find you're tough
Everything has a meaning
Even if it seems demeaning
Just stay strong
Admit your wrongs
And keep moving in the current of life.